10:38 p.m. - 2007-11-15
Lullaby of birdland
I'm super tired, once again. I stayed up until 2 am last night so that I could finish the infamous first plan with the people crammed on 1 m2 and that sort of stuff, but instead ended up hanging out on the internet just checking random stuff, like Facebook and so on. I planned to wake up early (8 am that is, that's my "early") so that I could finish the plan, but I sort of turned my mobile off and continued sleeping until 9 am. So.. I didn't finish the plan. But I DID finish it at the uni during the landscape planning lecture, which was a miracle. It doesn't look half as good as I wanted it to look but who cares, it's almost finished. All I need to do is draw the lines with a rapidograph pen and it should be good. A's already done the second plan (this time we have to design our own notice board, blah) and she said she could borrow me the plan on Saturday so that I could copy it, but I'm not so sure.. I sort of want to do it by myself but then again, I'd save 3 days if I borrowed her's. Sigh. It's my consciousness vs. tempting cheating. Tricky.
I did yesterday a test to discover whether I'm a shopaholic or not. I suppose I don't have to tell you the results? It's just that I lived all those years with practically no money because my parents couldn't give me that much money, and in high school I hardly ever bought new clothes, and my dear God, I didn't even wear make-up back then! I didn't take care of myself. I didn't know how to walk in high heels. I hated skirts. All I spent money on was an occasional tee or a gig, but I always wished I had more money so that I could buy things that I needed/wanted. And like Heidi said, now that I have a bit more money and I'm more confident etc, don't you think I should make up for all those years? Because I want to buy a pretty new dress and shoes for New Year's Eve, although the shoes I want cost 140 euros (indigo blue, high-heeled, amazingly pretty and ladylike), so I probably won't buy them, but at least something similar. Maybe in December (I've already got my eye on a pair of classy black pointed pair that costs half as much as the indigo blue shoes). And I know there are a million beatiful dresses at Happening that are just waiting for me, they always have the prettiest dresses.
I don't think I showed you my hair after I dyed it a month ago?
12:55 a.m. - 2007-11-15
All I can concentrate on is..
The past couple of weeks have been really exhausting for some reason. Not having good shoes and not wearing a scarf or gloves, i.e. always being cold, has lead to me feeling a bit sick but not entirely sick, if you know what I mean, and it just sucks feeling like this. I haven't been eating that well lately either and I'm tired all the time (I even fell asleep during a lecture!), not able to concentrate on many things at the same time (sometimes just one is too much) and being pretty much always late from the uni because of sleeping in. Like today. Luckily A wrote my name on the list so that I didn't get yet another minus, because that would've been kinda bad - I already have one from the same subject and I think we're allowed to have only 2.
I spend way too much money. Way way too much. I bought a new mascara (some L'Or�al thing that comes with a primer) and a new eyeliner, like I wouldn't have them enough. Only this time the eyeliner is fairly easy to use, honestly! Even for a girl like me, with trembling hands and wrinkly eyelids (and I'm only 20, imagine what I'll be like when I'm 70). It's Artdeco's and it's liquid, and the tip reminds me of marker pens. Using an eyeliner is never easy (for me) but this is a hell of a lot easier than using those difficult brush-tipped eyeliners. And it cost only about 12 euros, though I chose the cheaper version, some refillable thing. The more expensive one came in a nicer package but even I'm not stupid enough to pay 2,5 times more for something that just looks good when no one's ever going to see it.
The new boots are horrible, btw. I had to walk pretty much yesterday, and having inherited Oili's (mum's mum, died in 2003) genes (her feet that is, minus the slender ankle), all new shoes start digging in my heels after some time. This time was no surprise.. I was pretty much limping home from the computer drawing course last night, and I tell you, it was NOT fun. And I was wearing white socks, my only good white socks, and now I have blood on them. Great.
My life would make a pretty boring movie.
Something to listen to:
�agar - Wings of love
4:05 p.m. - 2007-11-13
Le SIGH
God, I have no idea what's going on in my head but I didn't miss the AutoCAD course yesterday, because it's on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, not on Mondays. Way to go! My excuse is that I was still half asleep when I wrote the entry. And my energy level was kinda low, so my brain wasn't functioning that well yesterday (or any day).
Nothing new at the uni, was not late (surprise), wore my new boots and discovered that they aren't that comfortable and most certainly not meant for long walks. They're that kind of shoes that you wear when you have money to hail a cab to wherever you're going or have your own car to drive.
I'm so so tired, if I had nowhere to go, I'd just throw myself on my bed and take another 3h nap like I did yesterday (accidentally though), but no.. I have to drag myself downtown because of the course and do my best to finish the designing of the first plan for uni. Actually we don't have to design any sort of gardens/yards/other greenery yet, we just have to examine the space that people take and how much space does one person take approximately and how many people can you cram on one square meter. The answer is 6, btw. Imagine 6 people on just 1 m2.. kinda intimate, don't you think? Thank god that's just an extreme situation.
I think I've lost my mp3 player's USB cord, though I have no idea where because I haven't taken it to anyone else's place. All I know is that I haven't seen it for a month and I'm going crazy. What the hell am I going to do in the bus if not listen to all my new (or not so new), tacky and syrupy pop songs* that are generally thought to be something people should be ashamed of but that people listen to anyway behind closed doors. Like, 'About you now' by Sugababes. OR Lionel Richie's 'Hello'. OR Bonnie Tyler's 'Total eclipse of the heart'. Though I don't think they're tacky. Anyway, I had a point here. Yeah, the cord! The whole situation sucks because the mp3 player is ancient (Creative Zen Touch from 2004) and I don't think I can get a new cord from anywhere anymore. And if I can, where to look for? I'm a total idiot when it comes to all this electronical stuff and I have nobody to ask. And please don't ask me to ask my brothers because the younger one is a total idiot all the time (not just when it comes to electronical stuff) and the other one doesn't really know these things either.
God, I don't want to spend money on a new 20GB gadget just because I was stupid enough to lose the USB thing.
*Some weird phase going on, clearly
7:25 p.m. - 2007-11-12
Let's not talk about money and pretty shoes for a change
I'm so tired, even if I just had a 3 hour "nap". I guess having to spend 3 hours in wet shoes in the freezing cold Topcider park had something to do with the fact that when I got home, I was so tired that I just fell on my bed and slept like a baby. That and me not having coffee all day and not having time to eat. Yeah, I was late AGAIN this morning.. I was late last Monday too and thus missed a very boring lecture (albeit a useful one). This time I got there about 1,5 seconds before the professor so everything was fine.
During that lecture I discovered that Diaryland works also on my mobile, and naturally so does my diary too. Didn't waste my time going to the uni today, did I?
Btw, I just realized that today is Monday, the day when I'm supposed to go to the AutoCAD course and it's too late to go there because it starts at 8 pm, but on the other hand I wouldn't even have time because I still have that first "plan" to draw for Thursday, and I just can't concentrate on it with my thoughts wandering somewhere far away, so it'll take me at least 10 hours to finish it. Christ. But anyway, my memory is getting shittier day by day. I managed to convince my youngest brother that the course's on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, not Mondays and Tuesdays. I think he believed me.
I think I'm going to arm myself with coffee and get to my desk and actually start doing something, instead of talking with my sister about last Saturday and what she did with her "boyfriend" (first serious one, even she uses the word 'boyfriend' cautiously in this case) and how drunk she was. God, my 17-year-old sister has a life! Where's mine?
Something to listen to:
Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong - Dream a little dream of me
12:44 a.m. - 2007-11-12
When do these stupid nature extravaganzas end
I just remembered we're going to Topcider park with the dendrology group tomorrow/today (I guess I should say 'today' because it's already past midnight), on 12th of November, and I don't have any suitable flat shoes to wear in a muddy forest like Topcider park. There are roads in the park, of course, only we're not using them, naturally, because the plants we're supposed to look at are on the road-free area. What the hell am I going to wear? My only flat shoes are the pink canvas Hawaii print shoes, those Rocket Dog canvas ballerina thingies (army green with golden skulls, remember?) and black leather sneakers that don't look good with anything. Great. This is probably the only time when it bothers me that 95% of my shoes are high-heeled. Thanks a fucking bunch, shoes.
Sigh. I'm not on the bestest mood right now. But you probably guessed that already.
4:21 p.m. - 2007-11-10
I wish I had smarter things to do than spend money and then rant about it here
I've been a bit busy during the past week or so. Uni stuff and maths lessons and that cursed AutoCAD course are driving me nuts. It's not that I'd be working that hard for uni, it's just that changing friends is a tough job and you have to put a lot of effort in making the so-called new friendships work. I hardly ever hang out with T anymore and I'm totally fine with it because she's not the same person anymore. I'm fine with it because I know I'm not the one who's losing anything. J and P didn't enrol the second year as I might've mentioned, and the last time I heard of P was when he promised to give me some old ecoclimatology exams before the actual exam. Anyway, "uni stuff" takes a lot of time and effort.
I also spent a hell of a pile of money on my new lovely boots yesterday. Yes, I finally found a pair that is just made for me, though I had to use way more money than I had planned to - 120 euros. BUT they're just the kind of boots that I've always wanted - black, genuine leather, tall but not too tall, slender (tight, whatever), pointy, sort of spike-heeled and they have a couple of really nice accessories so that they're not too ordinary. First I was going to buy the red almost-flat shorter boots and I still like them a lot, if my legs only were thinner. I could totally imagine Oona wearing them because they were just her style, really trendy and cute, but apparently not meant for me. Maybe one day when my weight isn't a problem for me, maybe then I'll be able to buy boots like that. Though I did notice one thing - these super hot black high-heeled boots that I bought are just the kind of boots that I was looking for already last winter, only then I couldn't get any of them on because you know that type of boots, none of them have zippers on the side, you just have to try to wiggle them on and pray that your legs are thin enough to fit in there. I actually didn't believe I'd get these boots on (I had two different boots to try on, and I chose the narrower ones) but I wasn't feeling that good at the moment because of the red boots that made my legs look horrible, so I thought that even if I wasn't able to get these boots on, I wouldn't feel any worse. But I did get them on, so I guess I have lost some fat (I hate that f word) since last winter. Pretty weird, huh?
I also bought a fake leather watch that has about zillion little fake diamonds sprinkled over the edges of the gold-coloured display. I paid 2500 din (about 30 e) for it and it was totally outrageous, the price I mean (the watch, too), but I was so blinded by the diamonds that I just paid it. I know I should think a bit more about the amount of money I pay for some things, but I sort of.. forget it sometimes. Never give me your credit cards because that might be the last time you see them.
What else did I buy this week.. Oh yeah, a huge fake leather hand bag, but I paid only about 10 euros for it so I guess I can be forgiven. The funny thing is that the bag was the only thing my youngest brother complained to me about, because apparently I buy purses too often. Yeah, like the last time I bought one was.. let me see, last winter when Oona was here? In January? Jesus, if that's OFTEN then I don't know how many bags he thinks a girl should have. One maybe? Yeah right. Anyway, the fact that in my brother's opinion this specific hand bag was the only thing worth complaining about, it might have something to do with him not knowing about the watch or the boots. I've hidden the new shoe box under a pile of shoes, and believe me, I've got enough shoes to cover that enormous box. Which is good. Because even if I spent my own money, my brother would go nuts if he found out that I paid 120 euros for the boots and that they're not even flat (I made the mistake of mentioning to him that I was looking for a pair of flat boots). Apparently he has some sort of a problem with me wearing high heels (maybe because then I'm taller than him) and make-up. Anyway, Marina thinks the boots are gorgeous and already asked me (or ordered me) to borrow them for her when I go to Finland for Christmas.
I probably had something smarter and deeper to write about than the various things that I spent money on this week, but I can't remember what it was. Oh well. I'm off to Facebook.
Something to listen to:
Lionel Richie - Hello
