8:14 p.m. - 2007-10-24
Don't get me started
Woke up at 5 a.m. this morning, and it's just so weird because I LOVE sleeping. I'd stay in bed 'til 11 a.m. if I could just because the sheets are so warm and it's cold outside. Anyway, when I woke up I had this horrible feeling that I had done something terribly wrong and I should try to fix it, and I just couldn't get rid of the feeling so I decided to get dressed and do something. Can't remember the last time I would've gotten up that early without someone threatening me! Dad was so surprised when I wasn't sleeping (he comes here every morning, it sometimes gets on my nerves even if he is my dad) that he actually asked me whether I had been up all night. Haha, very funny.
When I got to the uni, I started feeling so sleepy that I almost fell asleep during plant physiology and that other lecture that I can't remember in English (something about plant communities in forests).
It definitely made me feel better when the woman who works at the bakery on my street said that I've lost weight. Weird but nice. In Finland random people who you don't know that well would never come up to you and say that you've lost weight. But hey, at least it wasn't anything negative! Sometimes it feels like people say more mean than nice things to each other.
Something to liste to:
Mason vs Princess Superstar - Perfect (Exceed)
5:29 p.m. - 2007-10-22
Oh this adventurous life of mine
Autumn has come early. It's cold and it's raining all the time. Everything's just so grey and boring and I can't help missing the sun and summery stuff.
God I hate Mondays. We got a shitload of decorative plants to learn (species and families and so on and so on) today, I managed to damage my favourite black heels in a very very annoying way without noticing it before I got home, and I (well, it wasn't actually me) broke my grandad's old umbrella. He's dead btw, like all my granparents. Anyway, I never knew him that well, living in Finland all my life and so on, but my youngest and dearest big brother has told me a million times that I should buy my own umbrella in case the grandad one breaks I break our grandad's umbrella. We had that really tedious decorative dendrology lecture and I was dying to go for a pee (I'm so subtle), so I went to the horrible restrooms and left the umbrella "unguarded" (this is what I'll say to my brother if he asks about the umbrella). The restrooms near the dendrology classroom are horrible, btw. The other cubicle is permanently locked, and the other one doesn't even have a proper toilet but some sort of a hole in the floor that is supposed to be a unisex bathroom, I guess? Or then it's some weird Serbian invention. Anyway, when I came back someone had broken the umbrella's handle. I personally don't care much about the umbrella but I know my brother will go apeshit just because it was me who caused it to break. Maybe he won't notice? He hardly ever uses an umbrella because he always goes everywhere by car and won't park further than 20 m away from the nearest entrance, no matter wherever he's going. But still, with my luck he'll notice it TODAY and he'll react like someone had dropped an A-bomb on his dear Saab.
I'm a bit worried how I'll manage this year at the uni because we have so much to do and almost everything is somehow linked to plants and remembering their names and families and subfamilies and characterics and pretty much everything. I like plants and I think they're fairly interesting (I guess I wouldn't be studying landscape architecure if I didn't think so), but.. you know, sometimes I wish they'd left us at least ONE easy subject. Like drawing, painting or English (1st year stuff). I'll never be studying English again. If I stopped writing here would I forget everything that I learned during the past 13 years?
I'm feeling a bit PMS-y today, though it's a bit weird because if my calculations are right, I shouldn't be feeling like this for another week or so. My body is just so messed up, and I don't get why because I haven't been under that much stress during the past.. okay, week. The couple of months before that were pure hell. Wow. That sounds like I think I'm the centre of the universe and my worries would really matter. If you compare my worries with the ones of my friends, my worries are nothing, so I think I should really try to cut down on complaining. Anyway. You'd think that my body would bounce back after the stress factors (exams) have been removed, right? Apparently it's not like that. Should probably go to a gynecologist or something like the doctor told me in Finland. Sigh. Deep down inside I know that other people's lives aren't perfect either, but how the hell do they make them seem so easy and trouble-free on the outside at least? Most of the time I don't manage even that.
Btw, I put together all my doodles that I've produced during the many hours spent procrastinating, all in all there's 12 A4's, I think. I named it 'Procrastination for President' and was in process of making the cover when I decided that inspiration had abandoned me, so I left it there on my drawing table. I was on the computer when I heard someone skimming through papers by my table, and it was nobody else but my youngest brother who had moved his laptop from his table to mine because the other brother had to use his table. Anyway, he didn't say anything to me, but still I'm not sure whether I like the idea of HIM seeing them.
Something to listen to:
Fugees - Killing me softly
6:28 p.m. - 2007-10-19
No regrets
I'm getting more used to my new hair, though I'm still surprised every time I look in the mirror. It's like I'd be expecting to see the blonde me. But I like this new look, it makes me look smarter. And better. And my eyes are definitely more blue (or they just seem to be). Plus my eyebrows match with my hair! That's always nice. I'm still not sure what to think of the mahogany glow because I can see it only when I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and the light is really bright, but it definitely is there. Don't know, I've never thought that red (mahogany, whatever) hair would suit me, even if it's not pure red. (And btw, when I rinsed the colour off, the water was RED. And I kept on repeating "omg, please don't let it be red, please don't let it be red", because I'd never dye my hair red, at least not intentionally. Accidents are a whole different story.)
The other night I dreamed that E came to see me, and when I woke up I couldn't help feeling a bit sad and disappointed. You know, the way you feel after a particularly realistic dream that wasn't unpleasant at all. Then last night I dreamed that other friends just decided to drop by, and we went shopping together. It's maybe got something to do with my desire to go shoe shopping. I have a mission - I need to find black high-heeled boots, referably with a spike heel (I took Mikael's last piece of advice), not more than 7 cm high because I intend to wear these boots this winter and I don't want to die. And they MUST NOT be plastic. Plastic shoes are totally wrecked after a couple of months of wearing, believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I know I'll have to pay a small fortune for these boots but I want them so bad and I'm so not going to settle for second best, because I've done that enough for a whole lifetime, and good shoes are always worth their price. And poor people (or poor students, whatever) can't afford to buy cheaply.
In about 2 months' time I'll be back in Finland. Strange how fast time flies by!
2:00 p.m. - 2007-10-18
Blond fonc� noisette my ass
God, I really don't have anything to say to this diary. Okay, maybe SOMETHING, like
1) I enrolled the second year! It's pretty cool, I guess. The only bad things are that now I don't get to sleep as late as I want (max. 10 a.m. on some mornings, except on Fridays when I might have a lecture on the elements of landscape architecture planning or then not, because it depends on the group that I will be put in. I hope I'm in Thursday's group because then my Fridays would be completely FREE! And that would be amazing. The other thing that bug me just a bit is that I won't be able to travel as freely as I had planned to, in case I wouldn't enrol the second year. It annoys me more than I thought it would.
2) I'm now officially a brunette! And I don't mean just a boring brown brunette but a very strange-looking dark mahogany brown kinda brunette. I dyed my hair just 30 min ago, and as usual, I was a bit doubtful before I actually forced myself to do it, because if I didn't do it now I'd never do it. So I did it. When I saw the colour getting darker on my head, I wanted to weep because it looked so black and so strange that I actually had to wrap myself in my towel and prance around the apartment in search of my Marian Keyes book (it's still 'Anybody Out There') so that I wouldn't stay in the bathroom and accidentally jump in the tub and rinse the colour off before the desired 30 min. Then I felt better because I started thinking of how I dyed my hair in last February and how I rinsed it off too early because it looked so dark, and then the whole process went wrong and the colour faded after just a month. But maybe it was good because it was that boring kind of brown that people normally have as their original hair colour. THIS colour most certainly is not my original colour, and I kinda like it. It's so different than my previous blonde hair! Though I am a bit.. I dunno, I feel like L'Or�al had cheated me because in the package it says that this hair dye, called Toscana (L'Or�al R�cital Pr�f�rence 6.23), is blond fonc� noisette, and I thought it'd be a bit lighter. But who cares as long as it looks good, right?
Maybe the colour is more "noisette" than mahogany after all.
I can't remember whether I've got a landscape planning element thingy lecture at the uni at 2:45 or 2:55, but either way I'm going to be real late if I don't start getting ready now.
