10:31 p.m. - 2007-07-28
The supposed mirrors of the soul
Me and Marina had this really crazy idea today of going shopping for coloured contact lenses tomorrow. Actually it started a couple of days ago but we didn't think about it seriously before this day. Marina has been talking about how she wants brown eyes. We both have blue eyes, hers are maybe a bit more grey than mine, but still, we both have blue eyes and it would maybe be, umm.. interesting to see what it would look like to have different eyes. The lenses aren't even that expensive and you don't need to have problems with eyesight to get them. It might be too eccentric for me, though, I'm always a bit afraid of changes. I need more than just 24 hours to decide what I really want. Anyway, tomorrow we're going downtown to check out the prices. I'm supposed to go to Iiris's tomorrow so I'll have to go "shopping" before that, I just have no idea when I'm supposed to be at Iiris's, I probably have to text her or something. Me and my bad memory.
12:42 p.m. - 2007-07-27
Clearly never heard of urban dog etiquette
My life is full of adventures. Yesterday Mini, my hillbilly dog with no manners, peed on the floor at Stockmann (luckily it was the pet department so the staff was very understanding) and pooped in front of a restaurant at Aleksi. I know, it's not as cringe-worthy as the time when I decided to go nude in my old room with the curtains open and lights on and people in the woods right behind the window, but it ranks pretty close.
Speaking of rooms, I no longer can enjoy the benefits of having an own room (and some privacy) here in Finland. Yeah, my oldest brother is coming for a little visit from Moscow and he'll stay for 1,5 weeks, so I have to let him sleep in his old room again. I have nothing else to say than "this sucks big time". He'd better have lots of cash with him to make up for this! You see, I'm planning to persuade him to pay for Mini's raincoat.
Tinkku, Marina and I might spend some lovely time together by going shopping at Lauttasaari's outlet, I hear the prices are now as low as they'll get. It could be fun.
10:50 a.m. - 2007-07-26
Simple life
So, I finished 'In Her Shoes' last night. If I had to evaluate the book, I'd say that it was way better than an average chick lit book, because this one wasn't just about fashion, men and stuff like that, this one had some sort of a deeper meaning. Maybe those other books are chic lit, but this is definitely chick lit. I loved especially that poem by E. E. Cummings ('I carry your heart with me'), it really touched me. Besides, I could relate so well with Rose and her feelings, only I don't have a mean bitchy sister who'd steal my shoes and boyfriends.
I should take my mobile to the nearest Elisa Shopit today to get it fixed because it isn't working all the time and it's kinda annoying when you have to reboot a damn mobile because it doesn't want to cooperate (I thought you had to do so only with computers). I should delete all my own photos (there are close to 300 of them) and text messages and stuff like that because even if the people at the mobile service should be all professional and so on, I'm sure that they'll check the mobile for anything funny and embarrassing (because I might do so).* Though, I did read this news article saying that even if you delete for example text messages, they'll leave a trace in the mobile and they can be retrieved. But I don't think ordinary mobile services do this, maybe it's used only when investigating crimes or something. And since I'm not involved with any illegal stuff I think it's enough if I just delete all my files in the mobile. It's not that I'd have any secret photos or text messages in it, I just don't like it when people look at my.. "stuff" without me knowing about it. It's kinda like with my calendars in high school, if you still remember it. Those were almost like my diaries, and naturally I've saved each one of them in case I want to feel nostalgic some day. There's actually some stuff in them that I would classify as 'secret' so I should probably move them to my box of secret stuff, I keep it on my shelf in my old room, but it looks really old and boring so no one will look inside it, and besides, I've piled those tiny porcelain kittens and flower vases (the ones that you used to get whenever one of your friends (or actually their mums because we were so young) would throw a birthday party) on top of the box so it's really annoying to even try to see what's in it. And since I presume that everyone else in this world is as lazy as I am, I don't think anyone will bother to see what's in the box. Anyway.
Last night I dreamed I was drinking with my friends and I woke up with an almost hangover-like headache. Creepy.
Something to listen to:
Dolly Parton & James Ingram - The day I fall in love
(I watched Beethoven's 2nd the other day with Marina. I still remember the first time I saw it, was it in 1993 or 1994.. I used to think Taylor was handsome but Seth was definitely cuter. Though I didn't have much to compare with back in those days, if you don't count Eric from The Little Mermaid.)
*Besides, I think they might erase everything on it and I want to save some of the photos.
7:29 p.m. - 2007-07-25
Some people prefer wax to glue
I was at Heidi's today and one of the things we did was watching Spirited Away. I've never seen it, believe it or not, and I'm mad at myself because of not bothering to watch it earlier! People have always told me how good it is but I just don't remember things like movies that need to be seen, unless you write it on my forehead with a waterproof marker so that I see it every morning. It was so different than Disney movies and so pretty. I feel like watching it again. Anywho, we also talked (about the BBs, naturally, I don't even have to write it here, do I?) and I borrowed her new copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, right after hinting Heidi about Daniel Radcliffe's nude photos. Oh, the look on her face! Priceless. I'm pretty sure that someone put glue in Mr. Radcliffe's boxers while he was asleep. (hint: type into Google the words "Daniel Radcliffe totally nude" and you'll get lots of results)
I think I'm off to finish 'In her shoes' (by Jennifer Weiner) and then I'll start reading that Harry Potter book. I wonder how many people Rowling killed in the last book..
12:45 p.m. - 2007-07-24
New wave of music
I'm so totally in love with Amadou & Mariam's album, Dimanche � Bamako. One of my favourite tracks is Politic Amagni (with Manu Chao and Tiken Jah Fakoly), it just sounds so.. good. Beau Dimanche is also wonderful! You know, I'm a bit tired of pop and indie and rock. I wonder if CDON.com sells Dimanche � Bamako and how much it costs? But I'm almost broke so I guess I couldn't order it even if they had it in their catalogue. I have 300 euros on my bank account in Belgrade but I have to save it because I need it to survive 'til October.
I'm probably not going to do anything special today. My first goal is to get dressed (the main reason to that is that my little sister's friend is here and even if she's seen me a hundred times in my PJ's and without make-up, I'd rather not look like a troll when she's around) and then I might watch some old cartoons. Yesterday I watched Kill Bill 2, it was better than I remembered. It just made me wonder how on earth Tarantino will make a third Kill Bill movie when Bill's already dead? Because in some interview he said that there'll be a third movie. Unless Bill didn't really die or something. What if I just didn't understand that it was some trick or something between Black Mamba and Bill, and Bill was just faking it, you know, like a silent mutual agreement on.. something, and now Bill isn't dead, he's just stepped aside to let B.B. have a normal life? Because I kinda liked Bill. I hope he isn't dead.
I re-did that old hand-writing analysis that I did back in 2004, remember that? My hand-writing used to have this kinda heavy leftward slant, but it has changed since then and it's pretty funny how accurate the information based on this change is. This almost reminds me of palmistry, and you know (or then not) that I've always been interested in stuff like that. Anyway, since you're all so interested in me and my personality (as if) and this is my diary and I want to remember my almost-20-year-old's personality, I'm putting the analysis here. Enjoy! (btw, you can make the analysis here)
"For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Sape has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Sape fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Sape has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Sape is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Sape would like to leave the past behind and move on.
Sape has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Sape is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Sape is a cumulative and procedural thinker. She likes to have all the facts before making a decision. She thinks or creates much like a brick mason, stacking fact upon fact. Her thought pattern or the conclusion will not be complete until the last fact is in place. Like that brick wall, Sape learns faster through visual demonstration than through quick verbal instructions. Once she has learned new material, and understood it, she won't forget. Sape is a methodical thinker, therefore she is able to build things and come up with new ideas. In an argument, she often loses to rapid thinking people because she is thinking thirty minutes later about what she should have said. These people often are very booksmart, but can be out-gunned in a rapid fire verbal debate. She may learn new ideas at a slower pace than other "less detailed" people, but once she gets it, she can handle repetition. Some people hate jobs with too much repetition, she can handle it better than most.
Sape is not facing something going on in her life today. She is deceiving herself about it. Often, Sape's opinion of herself is different than those around her. This trait gives Sape the ability to deny anything that does not agree with her "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Sape not to face some reality in her life at this time.
Sape is sensitive to criticism about her ideas and philosophies. She will sometimes worry what people will think if she tells them what she believes in. This doesn't mean she won't talk, or that she feels ashamed. It merely means she is sensitive to what others think, regarding her beliefs.
Sape uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone. The circumstances when Sape does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise. Sape will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally. Sape is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Sape doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others."
There was one thing that I didn't agree with but other than that, this was pretty accurate again!
11:49 a.m. - 2007-07-23
Because I'm worth it
Whenever I have too much time for myself and thinking, I get a bit sad. You know, when no one's telling you that the world doesn't evolve around you, things tend to get out of proportion. And especially if your mum is adding the pressure by saying "you'd better study your ass off if you want to stay in Serbia and not end up in here!", after which I started thinking how fun it'd be to study in Finland. The only problem is that I have no chances of studying landscape architecture in Finland, it's just pure luck that I enrolled the university in Belgrade.
I don't know, if I had something to keep me in Belgrade, like really close friends or a boyfriend, maybe things would be different, but I'm very much single and even if I'm friends with practically everyone there, I wouldn't say that I'm really really close with anyone there. All I have there is over half of my relatives, but I've done well without them for the first 19 years of my life so I think I can handle the next 50 years too. I don't think I'll ever get past the feeling that I'm just a stranger, a visitor at the university, "the foreign girl". People there tend to treat me like a foreigner sometimes (i.e. explain the simplest stuff to me even when I don't (dare to) ask) which of course is nice in a way, since I sometimes feel a bit lost and need help even with the basic stuff and so on, but still.. I don't know how to explain it.
Maybe I was so sad yesterday because I have only a bit over two weeks left in Finland. And that's not much. But I'm not 17 anymore (thank God for that!) and I'm smart enough to know that it's no use to spend the rest of my vacation in Helsinki being sad and blue. I'm going to make the most of the next 2 weeks so I've got something fun to reminiscence on when I return to Belgrade and start feeling homesick again. I was depressed enough when I was 17, I don't need that sort of depression in my life anymore. At least not long-termed sadness (because we're all allowed to be sad sometimes for a good reason). I'm going to have a real dream vacation!
I sound like a L'Or�al ad, you know, because I'm worth it and all that jazz.
Something to listen to:
Amadou & Mariam - La r�alit�
3:49 p.m. - 2007-07-22
Every now and then
I have this weird, anxious feeling that I just can't get rid of. It sort of started last night when I was on my way home after meeting up with friends but I was too tired to really dwell on the feeling when I got home, so it hit me with full force this morning. I'm broke, I don't know if I'll be able to enrol the second year in Belgrade, my attempts to lose weight still aren't working and I almost feel like crying a bit. Listening to Bonnie Tyler sure isn't helping. Sigh.
I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when nothing goes as planned.
5:14 p.m. - 2007-07-21
So cute
I bought a new collar and a leash for Mini today. Iiris and Vilja had told me about a new pet accessory store, so I just had to go there. I found this really cute brown leather collar (Doxtasy) with big gold-coloured spikes (check here, page 45, second collar) and even if it was kinda pricey (24e) I know it's worth it because it really is quality stuff. And it makes Mini look really good! Mum fell in love with an �ber cute yellow Puppia raincoat (here's the red version) so she might buy it for Mini next week when the store has ordered his size.
I'm going somewhere tonight with Heidi, Heikki and Mila. I have no idea where we're going but I know it'll be nice to see Mila, I haven't seen her since last autumn.
Mum's getting nervous in the kitchen and I should probably help her out a bit, so.. I'm off.
